I have been thinking a lot about feeling powerless. I think I have understood the reason I had been sad for so long, it is the kind of sadness that never goes away, but you can pretend it is not there.

The reason is I have been feeling powerless and abused by other people who have what they think is power. It is really tough to understand how we live in a world where some want to feel in control of others because their sense of being relies on it. They use what they think is power to obtain what they think they need or want, not thinking clearly. They just act on their selfish thoughts and urges.

Every event we live is an opportunity to discover how can you become a better person, how can you understand yourself better, how can you reach your inner balance, how can you transform yourself, and eventually release your selfishness. It is hard to accept and comprehend those events may hurt you a lot, but at the end it is what you need to open your eyes to your own suffering and the suffering others are living.

The more you decide to be blind, the harder events cross into your life to realize you need to ask yourself these basic questions: Who am I? Why do I exist? What will happen when I die? Why do people act the way they do? Why do I become angry? Why do I act as I do? Is it moral to be as I am? Is it ethic to do what I intend to do? Those questions will only lead your life into more and more questions if you are answering correctly.

In fact, as I have been walking though life... I have asked those questions. I have learned the greatest lesson I have had in my whole life.

The feeling of being powerless is so strong, we prevent ourselves from seeing the the reasons we become angry as another person tries to force his will on you. You may say it is unjust. How can you let another person violate your right to be free?

My question would be: Who is really free? In these times, the media dominates your likes, your needs, and even your thoughts. Is that freedom?

I guess that to lack the ability to ask yourself the impossible questions is really reducing our freedom, but we are so blind by trying to feel powerful, we don't realize we are powerless. I cannot change what you think, and even if I could you may become influenced by someone else and then, change again to whom I don't like you to be. The only way you may really change is asking yourself those questions, and the only way other people will actually change is asking themselves the same questions. We will not be free as long we are trapped in that constant need to feel in control of something because we not in control of ourselves.

However, it is not me who knows. Your own actions will eventually show you have several options:
1. You live blinded.
2. You try to see.
3. You see sometimes and other times you are blinded.
4. You see.

All of these, not depending on others, but only you. Where does our sense of feeling powerless begin, and where does it end? Can we regain our freedom by listening to what yourself has to say or do you prefer to let others talk about what is best for you?

Is it your choice? Or is it not yours, but you want to think it is to feel power over yourself when you do not have it?